As the pain from the previous night's ordeal continued to stab me in the heart I went out on the porch to take in some morning air. Looking up at the sky I told The Lord if this is what your will is then I accept. God is the Sovereign God, the Almighty, Designer of the universe, Creator of my soul, wounded and hurting or not. Who am I to question Him?
In the process of looking into the sky I noticed a rainbow above my parents' home. It was a fading rainbow that flickered in and out. It acted as if it was ready to go out or grow brighter. In the midst of my tears I began to praise The Lord. Wounded or not if what was going on in my life was God's will then 'Shelah' or so be it I was going to praise God anyway. Even if God's will appeared to be crossing over my will I still could find things to be thankful for and I did.
I praised Him for the rain, for His love, His discipline, the birds in flight, the cattle in the fields, and the quietness in the air, His watchfulness, and my ability to enjoy what I was hearing, feeling, and seeing. I praised Him I'm not physically beaten, that I love my husband and He loves me in spite of mixed messages we often give to one another.
The more I praised God the more I was hoping the rainbow I was barely seeing over my parents' house, would brighten with each praise but it didn't. Still doing its fading in and out I thought if that is what I get then praise God anyway. I don't praise Him to earn merits or brighter rainbows. I praise Him because I want to and He deserves it.
The same with the other situations in my life, if that is what I get are faded relationships or whatever, that flickers in and out in between the negative times then so be it. If this is God's will, I accept. Some day I will be granted brighter rainbows that do not fade but until then if it's God's will that I have to wait then so be it, I accept.
Oh how true it is that when the days seem the darkest, that is when God shines His brightest hope. Today I have brighter hope, the Sovereign God has not over looked me, forgot me, or is punishing me for all eternity for a sin committed many years ago. He is there, He still cares, He is still in control. Therefore, if it's God's will that my rainbows remain temporarily faded until brighter rainbows come then I accept.
I love you Jesus,
They call me Grandma,
Karen
The more I praised God the more I was hoping the rainbow I was barely seeing over my parents' house, would brighten with each praise but it didn't. Still doing its fading in and out I thought if that is what I get then praise God anyway. I don't praise Him to earn merits or brighter rainbows. I praise Him because I want to and He deserves it.
The same with the other situations in my life, if that is what I get are faded relationships or whatever, that flickers in and out in between the negative times then so be it. If this is God's will, I accept. Some day I will be granted brighter rainbows that do not fade but until then if it's God's will that I have to wait then so be it, I accept.
Oh how true it is that when the days seem the darkest, that is when God shines His brightest hope. Today I have brighter hope, the Sovereign God has not over looked me, forgot me, or is punishing me for all eternity for a sin committed many years ago. He is there, He still cares, He is still in control. Therefore, if it's God's will that my rainbows remain temporarily faded until brighter rainbows come then I accept.
I love you Jesus,
They call me Grandma,
Karen
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